Inside the Mind of a Child

The following are 3 conversations with Jacob over the past couple weeks:

1. While at a beach, Jacob disappeared, only for my mom to find him with his pants around his ankles, peeing on a tree. "Jacob!" my mom shouted, "if you pee like that everyone will see your bottom." The next day, they were at a park. With no port-a-potty in sight and Jacob anxiously needing to answer natures call, my mom directed him toward a tree a safe distance away. Much to her surprise, when she looked up at him, he was facing HER (not the tree) and peeing freely. "Jacob!" my mom shouted, "when you pee like that everyone can see your penis!" Jacob quickly replied, "Yea, but if I turn around then everyone will be able to see my bottom!"

2. There were a lot of mosquitoes out during Memorial Day weekend, so I went outside to check on Jacob (who was only in his swimsuit) to see if he needed any bug spray. "How are the bugs, Jacob? Are the mosquitoes biting you?" I asked. "No. I'm fine, Mom." Then, looking down at his chest, he pointed to his nipples and said, "Oh, don't worry, Mommy, these are just my vaginas, not mosquito bites!"

3. Jacob & Sophia were watching Dora while I balanced my checkbook. From out of nowhere I hear, "Mommy, where is Coney Island?" "It's in New York." "Do you have to jump over a really big strawberry to get there!?!"